What this episode is about
Gabriella sits down with Sari Cooper, AASECT-certified sex therapist and founder of the Center for Love and Sex in New York City, for one of the most expansive and shame-free conversations this show has ever had.
- Who's talking: Sari Cooper, AASECT-certified sex therapist
- How long: 53 minutes
- The topic: Menopause & Post-Menopause
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
Treat it like an improv game
“You have to have a sense of this is like an improv game. And you're learning through experimenting. And it's owning your own practice of experimenting that is really so healing and so exciting.”
What do I want from life?
“Tick tock. We have a limited time, a large time potentially because people are living older and older. But what is it I want to do with this one fantastic life that I have?”
Agency begins with yourself
“Give yourself permission to slow down, check in, locate where it is that you feel pleasure, desire, interest even. It can be just interest, curiosity, and start from there.”
“It's about building a relationship with ourselves first, understanding what we desire, believing our pleasure matters, and finding the confidence to communicate that with the people we love. Because before we can ask someone else to understand us, we first have to understand ourselves.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 50:57
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Show notes
When was the last time you asked yourself what you actually want?
For many women, menopause is the first time that question becomes impossible to ignore. The body is changing. Desire is shifting. And relationships that have been running on autopilot for years are suddenly asking to be looked at more honestly.
In this episode, Gabriella sits down with Sari Cooper, AASECT-certified sex therapist and founder of the Center for Love and Sex in New York City, for one of the most expansive and shame-free conversations this show has ever had. Sari explains why menopause is often the elephant in the therapy room, why low desire is almost never just hormonal, and how the concept she calls sex esteem , knowing what you want, owning it, and communicating it with confidence , changes everything for women in midlife.
Read the full show notesShow less
They go places this podcast has not gone before. Consensual non-monogamy. Gray divorce. The erotic mind. Infidelity and what comes after. And throughout all of it, the invitation is the same: approach your sexuality and yourself with more curiosity and less judgment.
Are you ready to awaken your sensuality and feel more empowered in your body? Access the FREE Pleasure Upgrade Bundle at pleasureinthepause.com/gift.
Sari Cooper is an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor and Founder and Director of the Center for Love and Sex (CLS), a boutique group practice specializing in sex therapy, couples counseling and individual clients challenged with erotic and sexual disorders. She created Sex Esteem, LLC to provide coaching, books, blogs and Talks to the public on critical cutting-edge insight on how to center one’s sexual pleasure in dating, ‘relationshipping’ and mating.
Highlights from our discussion include:
- Why menopause is still the elephant in the therapy room and what it will take to change that
- How to tell a partner what is changing in your body in a way they can actually understand
- Why low desire is almost never just hormonal and what the full picture actually looks like
- What sex esteem is and the three things it requires: consciousness, confidence, and communication
- Why taking penetration off the table can actually be the most liberating thing a couple does together
- What consensual non-monogamy looks like in practice and when couples start considering it
- Why gray divorce is so often initiated by women and what menopause has to do with it
If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at pleasureinthepause.com for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.
Sari ends with something I want every woman in this community to carry with her. Sexual and erotic agency begins with yourself. Give yourself permission to slow down, check in, and locate where it is that you feel pleasure, desire, or even just interest or curiosity. Start from there.
Before we can ask someone else to understand us, we first have to understand ourselves. That is what sex esteem is really about. And this episode is a beautiful place to begin.
If this episode resonated, subscribe to Pleasure in the Pause and share it with someone who needs this conversation. And if someone came to mind while you were listening, that is your sign to send it to them.
Resources mentioned: Sari Cooper: centerforloveandsex.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com
Instagram: instagram.com/saricooperofficial
CONNECT WITH GABRIELLA ESPINOSA:
The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.
About the guest
Sari CooperAASECT-certified sex therapistGuest on this episode of Pleasure in the Pause.More about them
