What this episode is about
The latest science shows that sexual wellness is crucial for longevity. Join sexual health expert Jackie Giannelli to explore how you can maintain pleasure and intimacy throughout your life journey.
Key takeaways
- Jackie Giannelli says sex span is the number of years you can have an enjoyable sex life. A partner is optional, and she says solo sex is worth curating for yourself.
- Jackie suggests a 12-week tracking challenge. Write down when you have sex and what else is going on, like medications and alcohol, so you can see what helps and what gets in the way.
- Jackie says after 40 you have to decide to have sex. Libido becomes more responsive and less spontaneous.
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
Midlife rewrites what sex is for
“Sex was always a means to an end, and really, I think in midlife and beyond, we rewrite that narrative. And I think women get to think about sex and pleasure as something that sustains them for the many decades that are to come.”
Great sex can be solo
“People always imagine you have to have a partner in order to have great sex, and I just want to say out loud, that is not true. Solo sex is in its own right an important thing to curate for yourself.”
Desire follows a decision
“You have to choose sex. It doesn't just happen. Maybe that was true in your 20s, but as you get into your 40s and beyond, you have to decide to have sex, and libido is more responsive and less spontaneous.”
Wish yourself the same happiness
“That's what we want for our kids, right? Just to be happy. We always say that. Why don't we want that for ourselves? Why are we not giving ourselves that same advice?”
“I always say you have to invest in your pleasure, right? It does take time. It does take a little bit of financial resources.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 34:19
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Show notes
While we carefully plan for retirement and prioritize our health span, there's another vital aspect of longevity we often overlook: our sex span.
What if we could extend the period of our life where we experience vibrant, fulfilling intimacy? What if pleasure isn't just a memory to look back on, but something we can actively cultivate at every stage of life?
In this conversation with Jackie Giannelli, a Board Certified Family Nurse Practitioner specializing in hormonal health, menopause, and women's sexual wellness, we explore the fascinating concept of sex span and how women can take charge of their sexual vitality through midlife and beyond.
Read the full show notesShow less
Understanding Sex Span: The New Frontier of Wellness
Sex span refers to the number of years you can maintain an enjoyable, high-functioning sex life. Just as health span focuses on living quality years in good health, sex span emphasizes maintaining sexual vitality throughout your life journey.
"Sexual wellness is a reflection of our vitality, our ability to live with joy and get excited about something. It's not just the absence of pain," explains Giannelli. "I think we can do better than that."
The benefits of maintaining an active sex life extend far beyond pleasure:
- Release of beneficial neurotransmitters and peptides
- Improved cardiovascular health through increased blood flow
- Enhanced brain health and neuroplasticity
- Stronger emotional bonds and intimacy
- Better mood regulation and stress relief
The Science Behind Sexual Vitality
Recent research supports the connection between sexual activity and overall health. A fascinating study from the SWAN dataset revealed that women who had sex weekly were 28% less likely to enter menopause early compared to those having sex monthly or less.
"Your body is smart," Giannelli notes. "When you have great sex, you release a lot of neurotransmitters. You release a lot of your own personal peptides like oxytocin, that are great for your brain, but also encourage blood flow to different parts of your body."
Jackie's insights on sexspan stem from her unBridled Longevity Frameworkâ˘, a neuroscience backed framework for women's longevity and sexspan.
Three Essential Steps to Extend Your Sex Span
- Make it a Priority
"You have to decide you want to make it a priority," Giannelli emphasizes. "A lot of women are waiting for good sex to happen to them... you kind of have to decide that this is something you want for yourself."
- Get to Know Your Body
Understanding your body's changes and what brings you pleasure is crucial. This might mean exploring new forms of stimulation, trying different products, or working with healthcare providers to address physical changes.
- Address Hormonal Health
Whether through hormone therapy or other interventions, managing hormonal changes can significantly impact sexual wellness. Giannelli particularly emphasizes the importance of vaginal hormones: "There's really no one who can't use a vaginal hormone... There's zero reason for vaginal dryness to ever happen to a woman."
Building Your Sexual Wellness Team
Creating a comprehensive approach to sexual health requires support. Giannelli recommends assembling a personal board of wellness advisors:
- A hormonal health expert who understands the full spectrum of hormone interactions
- A sexual medicine specialist who can address both physical and psychological aspects
- A beauty or skin expert who can support you in looking and feeling like your most confident self
- A financial advisor to help plan for wellness investments
Modern Tools for Sexual Wellness
Today's market offers numerous options for enhancing sexual pleasure:
- Quality lubricants (look for organic, paraben-free options)
- Personal care products designed for intimate health
- Thoughtfully chosen vibrators and toys
- Vaginal rejuvenation treatments when appropriate
- Hormone therapy options
The Mindset Shift: From Obligation to Opportunity
Perhaps the most powerful change comes from within. "It stops being for the world. It starts being for you," Giannelli reflects. "That's one of the best parts about being somebody in midlife - we get to redefine things on our own terms."
Taking Action Today
Ready to invest in your sex span? Start with these steps:
- Schedule a consultation with a sexual health provider
- Explore hormone therapy options if appropriate
- Invest in quality personal care products
- Practice mindfulness and body awareness
- Open communication with partners about desires and needs
Remember, sexual wellness isn't just about immediate pleasure - it's an investment in your overall health and longevity. As Giannelli concludes, "Being a sexually vital, capable, confident woman is a great way to show up in the world... We are improving our own endogenous hormone function when we practice great sex."
Your sex span is waiting to be extended. The question is: are you ready to make it a priority?
*About our guest:**Jackie Giannelli is a board-certified family nurse practitioner specializing in women's health with extensive expertise in menopause, women's sexual health and urogynecology. Jackie is a Menopause Society-certified practitioner, and an active member of the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health.*
- Instagram: instagram.com
- LinkedIn: linkedin.com
- The Well Kept Podcast: open.spotify.com
- Work with Jackin in NYC: annabarbieri-md.com
About the guest
Jackie GiannelliNurse practitionerGuest on this episode of Pleasure in the Pause.More about them
