What this episode is about
Eighty percent of autoimmune disease happens to women. One theory: repressed anger and bottled emotion do not just disappear, they make the body sick.
Key takeaways
- Gratitude functions as a form of mindfulness. It shifts neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine and favors the brain's pro-social circuitry over its defensive circuitry.
- Toxic gratitude, being told to stay positive and skip the anger or grief that comes with menopause symptoms, backfires. Feeling those emotions first is what actually opens the door to gratitude.
- Repressed anger and bottled emotion are linked to physical illness. The guest notes that roughly 80% of autoimmune disease occurs in women.
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
No one needs to should anything
“Anytime you hear the word should, I tell people just back off right away. No one needs to should anything.”
The surprising symptom is liberation
“I tell my patients, let me tell you the most surprising symptom of the menopausal transition. And they're like, what? Because we go through all these negative symptoms, right? They're not fun, but one of the most surprising symptoms is liberation.”
You are a trailblazer
“If you are in the menopausal transition, perimenopause, wherever you are there, you are a trailblazer. You get to be a trailblazer, right? You get to model behavior that is different and more healthy, for you and for others.”
You have what it takes
“Because you know yourself, you have been in your body for decades, and you have what it takes. You are whole, capable and resourceful, even though it doesn't always feel that way.”
“It's not selfish, it's not indulgent. I can really, truly attest after just going through that self gratitude practice. It is life giving.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 56:15
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Show notes
Dr. Deepti Gandhi, a family physician and menopause specialist, joins to explore gratitude as a nervous system and mindset tool for midlife. She opens with the moment that pushed her into the practice, her young daughter telling her she wanted her to be happy while she was mentally sprinting through a chore list, and traces how a nightly three-item gratitude journal reshaped her sense of wellness. The conversation grounds gratitude in neuroscience, it shifts serotonin and dopamine and favors pro-social brain circuitry over defensive circuitry, then pushes back on toxic gratitude, the pressure to stay positive and skip the grief or anger that comes with menopause symptoms. The argument's turn is that declining estrogen strips away some of the biological pull toward accommodating everyone else, which both women reframe as an opening rather than only a loss. The episode closes with a live two-minute self-gratitude exercise listeners can do along with the hosts.
Read the full show notesShow less
Are you navigating perimenopause or menopause and feeling disconnected from yourself? This episode of Pleasure in the Pause explores how gratitude can be a powerful tool for calming your nervous system, managing midlife symptoms, and finding meaning during this transformative phase. Host Gabriella Espinosa sits down with Dr. Deepti Gandhi, a board-certified family medicine physician and menopause specialist, to uncover the neuroscience behind gratitude practices and how they can help you reconnect with yourself during hormonal transitions. Whether you're struggling with brain fog, anxiety, or simply feeling overwhelmed, this conversation offers evidence-based strategies and a guided gratitude practice that you can start today.
Dr. Deepti Gandhi is a board-certified family medicine physician with over 20 years of experience supporting women through menopause. As a North American Menopause Society (NAMS) certified practitioner and personal development coach, she brings both scientific expertise and compassionate guidance to women's health. Dr. Gandhi specializes in hormone replacement therapy (HRT), symptom management, and mindset tools for thriving in midlife. She maintains a private practice, works with the telehealth company My Alloy, and is a sought-after speaker on menopause and women's wellness.
Highlights from our discussion include:
- Gratitude rewires your brain: Practicing gratitude shifts neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which directly impact mood and decision-making. It also activates pro-social brain circuitry, helping you move from fear-based thinking to connection and resilience, especially important during the emotional rollercoaster of perimenopause.
- Self-gratitude is transformative: Rather than only focusing on external gratitude (thanking others), try acknowledging something you appreciate about yourself, a decision you made, a quality you embody, or simply showing up for yourself. This practice creates profound shifts in self-worth and nervous system regulation.
- Honor your feelings first: Gratitude is not about toxic positivity or bypassing difficult emotions. You must feel anger, grief, and frustration about midlife changes before gratitude can create meaningful shifts. Suppressed emotions can manifest as physical illness, so give yourself permission to process what you're experiencing.
- Simple practices work: You don't need elaborate rituals. Dr. Gandhi prescribes gratitude just like medication, whether it's journaling three things before bed, sharing gratitude at the dinner table, or taking two minutes for a self-gratitude breathing exercise, consistency matters more than complexity.
- Midlife is liberation, not decline: The decline in estrogen that comes with menopause can actually free you from people-pleasing patterns and excessive caretaking. This transition invites you to redraw boundaries, prioritize yourself, and design a new blueprint for the decades ahead, you're a trailblazer creating a healthier model for future generations.
As Dr. Gandhi beautifully reminds us: "You are whole, capable, and resourceful, even though it doesn't always feel that way." This week, try the guided self-gratitude practice from this episode, place your hand on your heart, take a few deep breaths, and acknowledge one quality in yourself you're grateful for. It might just shift everything.
CONNECT WITH DR. DEEPTI GANDHI:
Website: drgandhiwellness.com
Instagram: instagram.com/drgandhi_md
TIKTOK: tiktok.com/@drgandhimd
LINKED IN: linkedin.com
CONNECT WITH GABRIELLA ESPINOSA:
The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.
About the guest
Dr. Deepti GandhiBoard-certified family medicine physician and menopause specialistGuest on this episode of Pleasure in the Pause.More about them
