What this episode is about
Menopause can feel like losing your spark. These five practices are here to help you reclaim your energy, your clarity, and your sense of self.
Key takeaways
- Gabriella says feeling disconnected from yourself affects 60% of women during perimenopause and menopause. She says it has a name and it is a real experience.
- Gabriella shares that psychiatrist Dr. Judith Joseph explains anhedonia as the clinical term for the loss of pleasure and joy, and she says it deserves attention.
- Gabriella teaches Shake It Out. Stand up and gently shake your hands, arms, shoulders and hips, then your whole body. She says it releases tension and resets your nervous system.
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
Your body is speaking to you
“When you don't feel like yourself during menopause, your body isn't betraying you. It's speaking to you.”
An invitation to reconnect with yourself
“This season of life isn't a slow fade into invisibility. It's an invitation to reconnect with yourself, your desires, and the pleasures that remind you you're alive.”
Menopause as an ascension
“What if we've been looking at menopause all wrong? What if instead of a decline, it's actually an ascension?”
Asking for support is wisdom
“Seeking support for your mental well-being during menopause isn't an admission of weakness. It's a profound act of self-care and wisdom.”
“Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, "Who is this person staring back at me?" Or found yourself in the middle of your day thinking, "I don't even recognize myself anymore."”
Gabriella Espinosaat 0:00
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Show notes
There’s a moment that sneaks up on many of us in midlife...
You pause mid-day and realize you feel distant from yourself. The energy you used to have feels out of reach. The things that once brought joy feel dull. It’s like the color has drained from your world, and no one warned you it would happen.
You’re not imagining this. You’re not broken. You’re not alone.
What you’re feeling is real. And it makes complete sense.
Read the full show notesShow less
Midlife is a powerful transition, but the world around us rarely gives us the language, support, or care we need to move through it with grace.
What we often need most is a way to come back to ourselves. To feel at home again in our body. To return to pleasure, presence, and trust.
The good news? There’s a path forward. In fact, there are five powerful pathways that can help you reconnect with your body, your joy, and your true self again.
Let’s walk through each one together.
1. Come Back to the Body That’s Been Carrying You
When everything feels off, we often blame our body. But what if your body isn’t betraying you at all? What if it’s communicating?
Hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause shift everything. They impact your brain, your emotions, your motivation. Your sense of self may feel scrambled, but underneath it all, your body still carries deep wisdom.
We begin by building a new relationship with the body. One built on listening, not fixing.
You might:
- Walk slowly and feel your feet on the ground
- Place your hand over your heart and ask, “What do I need?”
- Try gentle movement like shaking or swaying to loosen tension and reconnect with sensation
Your body is not the enemy. It’s your guide.
2. Let Pleasure Become Your Compass Again
There is a word many of us don’t hear until it’s happening to us. Anhedonia. It’s the loss of pleasure. The absence of joy. The sense that everything feels flat, even the things you used to love.
This isn’t laziness. It isn’t failure. It’s a signal that something inside you needs tending.
Reclaiming pleasure doesn’t have to be complicated or performative. It can start in the smallest moments.
Try:
- Turning on music that lifts your mood
- Gently tapping different parts of your body to wake up sensation
- Asking, “Where in my body feels good right now?” and breathing into that space
Pleasure isn’t a reward for getting through the hard parts. It’s part of how we heal.
3. Nourish Yourself with More Than Food
Nourishment is not just what we eat. It’s how we rest. What we consume emotionally. The energy we allow into our space.
Of course, our brains need steady support right now. Prioritizing protein, healthy fats, and foods rich in phytoestrogens can help balance mood and energy. But we also need soul nourishment. That includes quiet, kindness, warmth, and beauty.
Ask yourself:
- What am I taking in every day?
- What helps me feel grounded and supported?
Nourishment is not one more task. It’s a returning. A remembering. An act of love.
4. Make Space for What’s Rising to the Surface
Midlife has a way of bringing up what we’ve long buried. Unprocessed grief. Old stories. Patterns we’ve outgrown. Menopause strips away the coping mechanisms that once kept everything neatly tucked away.
You may feel more sensitive than usual. Or more irritable. Or just deeply tired. This isn’t regression. It’s emergence.
Let this be the season where you listen more deeply.
You might try:
- Journaling your thoughts without judgment
- Sitting quietly with your hand on your heart
- Naming aloud what you’re feeling, even if you don’t know why it’s there
This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about witnessing what wants to be seen. Your emotions aren’t in the way. They are part of the way home.
5. Ask for Support That Truly Supports You
You don’t have to carry this on your own. I know how hard it can be to seek help when we’ve been conditioned to push through, to cope, to be grateful even when we’re in pain.
But support is not surrender. It’s strength.
Whether it’s a conversation with a doctor who understands hormone therapy, working with a therapist or coach who truly sees you, or simply sitting in circle with other women who are walking this path... you deserve to be held.
Hormone therapy, when used appropriately, can restore clarity, improve mood, and help you feel more like yourself again. There is no shame in needing support. In fact, it’s one of the most compassionate choices you can make.
You’re Not the Same... And That’s the Point
What if this isn’t a falling apart? What if it’s a becoming?
The five pathways (returning to your body, reclaiming pleasure, nourishing yourself, meeting what arises, and receiving support) are not things to check off a list. They are invitations. They meet you wherever you are.
You don’t have to rush. You don’t have to get it right. You only need to begin.
This season can feel like a loss. But it’s also an opening. An unveiling. A deeper becoming.
You are still here. And there is more of you to meet.
Inside the Midlife Pleasure Collective, I guide women through deeper, personalized practices along with ongoing support, community, and tools to help you navigate midlife with more ease, confidence, and pleasure.
What now feels like the most tumultuous time in your life can become your greatest source of strength and resilience.
And this week, for Mental Health Awareness, when you join the membership, you’ll receive a free 30-day membershipto gift to another woman in your life.
Join us at pleasureinthepause.com
I'm here to support you every step of the way.
About your host
Gabriella EspinosaI talk with doctors and experts about pleasure, desire and feeling fully alive in midlife. This one's just me.More about me
