What this episode is about
Discover how Black women are reshaping the menopause narrative and why it matters for all of us.
In this episode
- The Power of Storytelling in Menopause
- Understanding the Impact of History on Menopause
- Reimagining Pleasure in Midlife and Beyond
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
Intimacy is bigger than intercourse
“There's a full spectrum of ways that we can experience intimacy that is connected to pleasure that may not be connected to sexual intercourse or penetrative sex.”
Good sex begins in the mind
“I always say that good sex begins with your your mind, how you think about yourself, how you feel about yourself, how you understand yourself, and how you communicate what you like and what you don't like.”
Pleasure with yourself counts
“You can experience pleasure with yourself, so I think that there's a wide open space for what it means to experience pleasure, intimacy, vulnerability and sexual expression as you continue to get older.”
“I feel that healing component is so left out of the menopause conversation.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 19:07
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Show notes
Menopause is often viewed as an ending, but what if we saw it as a dynamic transformation?
A new chapter where we can redefine pleasure, embrace our changing bodies, and tap into our innate wisdom. This isn't just about hot flashes and mood swings - it's about reclaiming our power and writing our own stories.
I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Omisade Burney-Scott, creator of the Black Girls' Guide to Surviving Menopause. Our conversation opened my eyes to new perspectives on menopause, particularly for Black women and other underrepresented voices. Let's dive into the insights we uncovered.
Read the full show notesShow less
The Power of Storytelling in Menopause
Omisade's project stems from a deep-rooted tradition of storytelling and community. She shared, "I grew up in a family that was full of energy and discourse... watching black women both in my family, chosen family, blood family, talk, laugh, cry, engage in discourse, share information has always been present."
This tradition of sharing and support is at the heart of her work. By creating spaces for Black women to tell their menopause stories, she's helping to break the silence and shame that often surrounds this life stage.
Key Takeaway: Sharing our stories can be incredibly healing. Consider starting a menopause circle with friends or joining online communities where you can openly discuss your experiences.
Understanding the Impact of History on Menopause
One of the most eye-opening parts of our conversation was about the concept of "allostatic load" - the accumulation of stresses over a lifetime and across generations. For Black women, this load can significantly impact their menopause experience.
Omisade explained, "If you think about the allostatic load of black women, indigenous women, other women of color... and you think about the histories, the individual histories of those communities and their experiences with systemic and institutional racism, it makes sense to me that the allostatic load for whatever culture you are a part of would be elevated over generations."
This historical context helps explain why some studies show Black women may experience menopause differently, with symptoms often starting earlier and lasting longer.
Action Step: Reflect on your family history and cultural background. How might these factors be influencing your menopause journey? Understanding this can help you advocate for more personalized care.
Reimagining Pleasure in Midlife and Beyond
Perhaps one of the most empowering aspects of our conversation was about rediscovering and redefining pleasure in menopause and beyond. Omisade beautifully articulated her experience:
"Pleasure for me at this stage of my life has to be grounded with an easeful-ness. I desire softness, I desire openness... I am an extrasensory person. So I want all of my senses stimulated. I want smell, I want touch, I want taste."
This shift towards a more holistic, sensual experience of pleasure is something many women discover in midlife. It's about moving beyond the narrow definitions of sexuality we may have held in our younger years and exploring what truly brings us joy and satisfaction.
Practical Tip: Take some time to explore what pleasure means to you now. This could be through journaling, trying new activities, or having open conversations with partners or friends about your desires and needs.
Breaking the Silence: Intergenerational Conversations
One of the most powerful aspects of Omisade's work is her focus on intergenerational conversations about menopause. She noted, "If I did not have explicit conversations about menopause, and I'm in my 50s, I wonder what someone in their 30s, 40s, or 20s thinks about this?"
By bringing together voices from different generations, we can start to break down the taboos and misconceptions around menopause. These conversations not only educate younger women but also help those going through menopause feel less alone.
Challenge: Start a conversation about menopause with someone from a different generation. This could be your daughter, mother, or a younger colleague. Share your experiences and listen to their perspectives.
Embracing Menopause as a New Beginning
Throughout our conversation, one theme kept emerging: menopause isn't an ending, but a new beginning. It's a time to reassess, redefine, and reclaim our lives and our bodies.
Omisade put it beautifully: "We can return to this remembrance of our connection to this life force energy... when you connect to this energy, your sensuality and sexuality flows freely and you feel confident, alive, magnetic, inspired."
This perspective shifts menopause from something to be dreaded or 'survived' to an opportunity for growth, exploration, and empowerment.
Reflection Question: How can you view your menopause journey as a positive transformation? What new beginnings might be possible for you in this stage of life?
Conclusion: Your Menopause, Your Story
As we wrap up, I want to emphasize that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to menopause. Your journey is unique, shaped by your personal history, culture, and experiences. The key is to stay curious, open, and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this transition.
Remember, your pleasure has no expiration date. Your voice matters. Your story deserves to be told. Let's continue to have these important conversations, support each other, and redefine what menopause means for all of us.
CONNECT WITH OMISADE BURNEY-SCOTT:
Omisade Burney-Scott is a Black Southern 7th generation native North Carolinian feminist, social justice advocate and creative with decades of experience in non-profit leadership, philanthropy, and social justice. She is the creator of The Black Girls’ Guide to Surviving Menopause, a multi- media culture and narrative shifting reproductive justice project which includes a podcast in which she curates and shares the stories and realities of Black Women, femmes over 50 and gender expansive people.
About the guest
Omisade Burney ScottBlack Southern 7th generation native North Carolinian feminist, social justice advocate and creativeGuest on this episode of Pleasure in the Pause.More about them
