What this episode is about
Deb shares insights from her new book Unapologetic Aging: How to Mend and Nourish Your Relationship with Your Body, offering a powerful alternative to the fear-based narratives that dominate conversations about aging, menopause, and women's health.
Key takeaways
- Gabriella says our bodies are meant to change, and the stories we carry decide how we view those changes. Unpack the story and you can be kinder to your body.
- Deb Benfield says pleasure and intimate connection start with a connection to your own body. Every sex therapist she interviewed said the same thing.
- Deb Benfield worries that dieting may be making menopause symptoms worse. Not eating enough can bring anxiety, poor sleep and brain fog, so she focuses on eating enough.
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
Objectifying yourself disconnects you
“You can't look at your body as an object, objectifying our own bodies and stay connected to your body at the same time.”
Pleasure starts with your own body
“When we want to experience pleasure, when we want to experience intimate connection, you have to start with intimate connection with yourself, with your own body.”
You need permission for pleasure
“You can't just have pleasure in the bedroom. You have to have pleasure in your life. You have to have permission for pleasure, in my opinion, to have mental health.”
Be curious about how it feels
“You can start to be curious about how does my body feel against this fabric, or on this sheet, or under this comforter, or in the shower.”
“Redefining what beautiful means, what sexy means, what desirable means in this stage of life is really what stepping into embodied intimacy is all about and feeling truly at home in your body.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 41:35
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Show notes
When you look in the mirror, what's the first story you tell yourself about your body? If you're like most midlife women, that internal dialogue is often rooted in criticism, comparison, and the relentless pressure to "fix" an aging body that was never broken in the first place.
In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa sits down with registered dietitian and body image coach Deb Benfield to explore how internalized ageism and diet culture keep us disconnected from our bodies, and what it takes to reclaim body trust, pleasure, and freedom in midlife and beyond.
Read the full show notesShow less
If you've ever felt trapped in a cycle of restriction, hypervigilance around food, or shame about your changing body, this conversation will help you understand why those stories exist and how to rewrite them with compassion and self-trust. Deb shares insights from her new book Unapologetic Aging: How to Mend and Nourish Your Relationship with Your Body, offering a powerful alternative to the fear-based narratives that dominate conversations about aging, menopause, and women's health.
Deb Benfield, M.Ed., RDN, LDN, RYT, is a Registered Dietitian, nutrition therapist, and body image coach with 40 years of experience helping people heal their relationship with food, movement, and their bodies. Her work sits at the intersection of anti-ageism, body liberation, and trauma-informed care, offering a radically compassionate alternative to diet and wellness culture, especially for those in midlife and beyond. After turning 60, Deb began questioning the dominant narratives around aging, vitality, and beauty, and quickly realized how many resources still centered weight loss and youthful appearance as ultimate goals. In response, she created what she couldn’t find: a framework for nourishing the body that honors inner wisdom, prioritizes vitality, and embraces the full spectrum of aging. She’s the author of Unapologetic Aging: How to Mend and Nourish Your Relationship with Your Body, and she offers individual and group coaching to help her clients age unapologetically, on their own terms.
Highlights from our discussion include:
- Understanding Your Body Story
- Your Body Is Your Life Partner, Not Your Life's Project
- Internalized Ageism Keeps You Stuck
- Diet Culture Fuels Hypervigilance, Not Health
- Rebuilding Body Trust Through Embodiment
- Redefining Intimacy and Pleasure in Midlife
- GLP-1 Medications: A Complex Decision
- Permission to Stop Apologizing
What if you stopped treating your body like a problem to solve and started honoring it as the life partner it's always been?
This episode is an invitation home, to your body, your pleasure, and your power. If you're ready to step off the diet culture rollercoaster and into a more compassionate, embodied way of living, Deb Benfield's Unapologetic Aging is the companion you need.
CONNECT WITH DEB BENFIELD:
Website: debrabenfield.com
Instagram: instagram.com
Substack: substack.com/@debbenfield1
If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at pleasureinthepause.com for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.
CONNECT WITH GABRIELLA ESPINOSA:
Disclaimer:
The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.
About the guest
Deb BenfieldRegistered Dietitian, nutrition therapist, and body image coach with 40 years of experience helping people heal their relationship with food, movement, and their bodiesGuest on this episode of Pleasure in the Pause.More about them
